If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. 148. I didnt give you the finger, you earned it. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. health is important. I can have peace, even when people irritate me. 151. 1. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. 2. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. P.D. Just like every Monday does on Earth. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. 9. I am full of vitality. 14. Oh sheet! 99. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. 197. So put on your favorite song, take a deep breath, and say these affirmations during your next tough time for some much-needed positivity! If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? I did not trip and fall. The most important aspect is being honest with yourself and opting for a meaningful statement. 150. Find a short calm and peaceful moment in your day and use it for setting your mindset up for happiness. 278. 149. Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. Confidence makes me powerful. 250. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. You try again, but no sound is coming out. Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. Lily Tomlin 250. 70. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Share them with your friends and colleagues and make them smile too. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. I am my childs greatest comfort. 183. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. It's OK to take a break. 54. 169. 165. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. 145. How do trees access the internet? Ted Turner. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. 47. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. 169. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Why did the school kids eat their homework? What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 186. 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes to Laugh About - Wealthy Gorilla I love my job only when Im on vacation. Any text will do. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. 221. 262. Learn sign language, its very handy. They planet. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. 36. Why was six scared of seven? I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. 10. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.". It makes them so damned mad. 267. I can always think of something funny to say. 265. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. - Jack London. Quotes To Inspire You (MLK), 80 Life Gets Better Quotes To Brighten Your Day (Hope), 50 Bad Luck Quotes When You Feel Ill-Fated. When you feel terrified (without your safety being in danger): 5. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. 86. Your email address will not be published. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 58. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 112. At night, I cant fall asleep. 214. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Swimming trunks. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 116. And a funny bone. Fortunately, theres a way to reap the benefits of these powerful statements by giving them a humorous twist. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 66. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. 234. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits., 8. Send me the link. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. I am loving all the bad experiences because they are giving me something . What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? Nothing, they just waved. 26. Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and more to motivate them every morning. Happy Birthday.". My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. Because he was always spotted. 69. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer. 5. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Theres no stopping me now. Use them as a tool to boost your self-esteem and productivity, as well as to overcome procrastination and complete all assigned tasks. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. HAM AND EGGS A days work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. They planet. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. Steve Martin I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. Sincerely, the floor. 22. Hes dreaming too. 28. I tried, but they wanted cash. Why cant you trust an atom? 90. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. 3. Bill Murray 205. Albert Einstein It will just flow naturally. A mind is like a parachute. 1. 2. And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. 53. They are a powerful tool you can use to change your attitude, your perspective on life and shift from a negative to a positive mindset. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. 4. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 259. They log in. You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. Your actions become your habits. I have committed to being my most outstanding self. 241. 21. 30 Short Daily Affirmations for Living Your Best Life - Healing Brave 104. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? 76. Unknown. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full., 11. 200. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. The rest are too expensive. 208. 8. 47. They log in. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. Stuart Turner Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. 18. Then, think about how easy it would be to say a simple statement to yourself throughout the day. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. 247. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. These affirmations are funny, humorous, witty and sarcastic for work, friends, family, mom, to boost your self-esteem, confidence and strength. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? Funny Daily Affirmations. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? Albert Einstein. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. Leave me a if you agree! 243. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. 61. - Donald Trump. The best way for me to appreciate my job is to imagine myself without one. Effective pushing often involves poop. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations. 55. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. 104. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks. 3. grateful. Frances McDormand, 42. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? 32. The only power you have is the word no. 248. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. And no, that's definitely not a bad thing! A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. 88. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. A gummy bear. 179. Today, I acknowledge the time I have spent over the week. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Henny Youngman, 246. Helen Giangregorio Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. As a result, youll stay consistent, and with affirmations, consistency is the name of the game. Life gives the test first and then the lesson. Affirmations can be written in a journal, spoken out loud, or visualized as a conversation between you and money. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? 166. If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. 22. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. Benjamin Franklin. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. 111. 240. Albert King. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Effective pushing often involves poop. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Art doesnt transform. 273. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. And their purpose certainly isn't to minimize hard feelings. The Only 100 Positive Affirmations You Will Ever Need 8. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. 40. Life is filled with highs and lows, stress and anxiety, so sometimes some funny and positive words will help you lighten up on an encouraging note. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. 114. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. 219. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. What is the tallest building in the entire world? I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for! You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. 155. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. Ben Hogan. Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but Im still going to keep looking. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. ~ Bill Gates. People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. My funny vibes attract my funny tribe., 3. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. Pat Sajak, 41. Theres life without Facebook and internet? Laughter brings me closer to people. 195. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. 236. Funny Positive Affirmations For Work. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. "You're in mint condition for a vintage model. 181. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. 237. I can engage in small acts of kindness to uplift other people. I will smile while I still have my teeth. Im sure youve heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Here is a list for you that has all the funny affirmations: I am making myself laugh every time I say any sarcastic word. 126. - Unknown. 36. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. And one of the fundamental truths in life is that they will make . Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. How do trees access the internet? 132. 200 Best Sarcastic Quotes and Funny Sarcasm Sayings - Parade A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. Bill Murray, 260. 48. I believe in what's possible for me. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. If only common sense were more common. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Im gonna be worse., 12. 80. 2. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. 32. 85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez 118. 217. I keep moving forward even if my pants come off. Never take life seriously. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Below youll find a collection of funny affirmations for work that will help you stay motivated and fight the work stress more efficiently. Start as soon as you wake up in the morning. 142. 140. 33. 3. It will warm you twice unknown. Stay focused and consistent, and youll start noticing the healing powers of humor and fun. Hes dreaming too. Why is England the wettest country? Superwoman: single. Enjoy! Everyone wants to talk with me because I am very funny. 232. Im laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. 218. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. 158. 63. 1. 177. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. When life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic. I am lazy till I get a motive. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 117. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. 227. 13. Life begins on Friday night. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 11. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I tell you what always catches my eye. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 37. Thank God Im an atheist. I stick to things until I get to my destination., 12. 199. Bill Murray I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. If Im not there, I go to work. Robert Orben, 4. Words have the power to make or break us. 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. 189. 203. Live life to the fullest. Everyone brings happiness to this office. 16. 121. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. 159. 100 Positive Affirmations for Kids (and Why They're so Important) Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. 242. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 171. 56. 99 Positive Morning Affirmations You Can Use Daily If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Nobody gets out alive anyway. These 50 funny affirmations will help you feel better about yourself while keeping a wide smile on your face. Read the first word again. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. I want to afford them., 2. 89. 209. Just like every Monday does on Earth. 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter

Flight School Orlando Executive Airport, Smithbilt Homes Virtual Tour, Martina Nerdforge, Poem About Grace And Mercy, Articles S